I doubt F.A.I. wrote this himself as nothing I have found indicates he played golf!!
A Parody on Whyte Melvilles’ most beautiful poem the Place Where the Old Horse Died
I
At the bottom of the bunker where the sand is soft and deep
And each ball takes a heel mark of its own
Where the stance is loose and shifting and the face in front is steep
And you seize on your niblich with a groan
There a spot I never pass through laying safe on grass
But my heart gives a flutter and a bound
And I breathe a little word by bunkers often heard
It’s the place I spoilt my medal round
II
There’s my driver in the corner, there’s my mashie by his side
But I have often driven and I have lofted in vain
I will never win the medal I haven’t even tried
And I shall never have so good a chance again
How the ball flew off the tee I holed my first in three
How I walked as if I hardly touched the ground
The lowest score that day and only 2 to play
III
Did I heel I hardly think so
Did I slice I cannot tell
I had done the front 16 in sixty nine
I was swinging like a windmill
I was driving strong
Two hundred yards and never off the line
But I sometimes knew that my soaring spirit knew
I was just pressing a quarter of a pound
Still I played my level best and my caddy knows the rest
The place where I spoilt my medal round
IIII
I stood for half a minute as the ball rolled down the bank
Then I hacked with my niblish where it lay
But the more I smote behind it the deeper it sank
And I knew it was in there for the day
But sometimes I think (its true) that my soaring spirits knew
And dashed it in a ????? on the ground
I had played about thirteen and wasn’t on the green
And that’s how I spoilt my medal round
V
There are men good and wise who hold that in a future state
Poor fellows who where bunkered here below
Will always be on the green in two and always putting straight
Is it folly that I hope it maybe so
For if your wish to try the thrash to mortify
There is not a better method to be found
Then to play some eight or ten in a sandy bunker when
You have very nearly holed your medal round
FAI April 1921
