‘ A Millions Book of Laughter’ published in 1892 and costing 2 shillings & 6d.
It is in a sorry state, I am afraid and lives in a plastic bag because the pages have come away.
It contains a wealth of mirth (?), facts and recipes from times gone by.
In my ‘thinking time' of 'where am I going next on here' I will pop a few ‘quality’ items to remind us of the time pre- television, computers and techno toys when entertainment was by the aid of gas light, reading out loud from a book, needlepoint and the family around the piano !!
(The following is transcribed exactly how it is written in the book, there is so much maybe it deserves a blog of its own ??)
Hugging
Some lady is responsible for the following:-
‘Kit hates moustaches; ‘So much hair
Makes every man look like a bear’
But Fanny, whom no though can fetter,
Blurts out, ‘the more like bears the better!
Because’ – her pretty shoulders shrugging-
‘Bears are such glorious chaps for hugging!’
On the marriage of Reuben Wise to Matilda Chevise
At length she seized the proffer’d prize,
(A happy one, believe us.)
For matrimony has made her Wise
Before, she was Miss Chevis.
‘Tis so!
Many any,
Friends many;
Pounds few
Friends Adieu.
Time was when girls their bonnets wore
Projecting half a yard before;
When beauty was thus hidden deep,
‘Twas something e’en to get a peep
But now- oh woman’s fickle mind! –
They wear their bonnets all behind.
Why in the event of scarcity of corn, would Warwickshire be better off than any other county?
- because there’e Nuneaton (non eaten) in it.
What is the difference between a successful lover and his rival?
- The one kisses his miss and the other misses his kiss
Why is a shoemaker like a true lover?
- because he is faithful to the last!
Why is an egg like a colt?
- because it is not fit for use until it is broken!
What is the difference between a bantam cock and a dirty housemaid?
- The one is a domestic fowl the other a foul domestic!
Why are A & C the most alluring letters in the alphabet?
- because they form the centre of attraction
What female name is formed of only 2 letters of the alphabet; and why should a lady owing that name never return from India unmarried?
-Anna ; because, if an Anna wouldn’t go in India, she is not passable anywhere else.
(mmm ? I will leave that one with you 'cause I don't understand it??)
What is the difference between an old bachelor and a pretty girl?
- a pretty girl steals the hearts of others; a horrid bachelor steels his own.
What is the difference between tacks and tax?
-one is intended to keep us ‘up at heel’ the other tends to keep us down .
(nothing changes !!)
‘What will you leave me in your will?’ said a lady to an Irishman.
‘What will you leave me in your will?’ said a lady to an Irishman.
He coolly answered, ‘ the wide world, madam!!’
Why does a saucepan, which has been used boil in a shorter time than a new one?
-because the bottom and back are covered in soot; and the black soot rapidly absorbs the heat of the glowing coals. (a handy hint)
Why should the front and lid of a saucepan be clean and bright?
-As they do not come in contact with the fire they cannot absorb heat; and (being bright) they will not suffer heat to absorb by radiation. (and another hint!)
Quite like this one…………………………
Why is an old maid like a stale lemon?
- because neither is worth squeezing!!
Why does a saucepan, which has been used boil in a shorter time than a new one?
-because the bottom and back are covered in soot; and the black soot rapidly absorbs the heat of the glowing coals. (a handy hint)
Why should the front and lid of a saucepan be clean and bright?
-As they do not come in contact with the fire they cannot absorb heat; and (being bright) they will not suffer heat to absorb by radiation. (and another hint!)
Quite like this one…………………………
Why is an old maid like a stale lemon?
- because neither is worth squeezing!!
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